Ted Haggard’s Descent Into Hell

I happened to catch Ted Haggard’s interview on Oprah last week and have been mulling over a few things said by both Ted and Oprah. I am not trying to formulate an opinion, by the way, of whether Ted Haggard is a ‘bad’ pastor or should be allowed back to preaching. Ted’s life is a matter in God’s hands. I seek to revere the Lord over Ted Haggard’s life as much as I worship the Lord in fear and trembling over my own life.

Two years had already passed since this scandal broke. I didn’t realize it had been that long ago already. My heart broke when I heard it. Not because I personally adore Ted Haggard, his mega-church and all that goes along with it, but because another man had to take such an extremely hard fall in order to learn the love and ways of the Father.

Each one of us has different sins we struggle with, but we all have the same humanity. To judge Ted Haggard is to stand in judgement of yourself. If you wonder why he would be so foolish or careless or weak against temptation, ask yourself the same question. Ask it of your best friend, your own father, your own pastor.

From what I heard, I do bear witness to Ted Haggard’s having learned a great thing, been touched by the Lord in a wonderful way and knowing, by experience, truth more than before. He said that He knew before the scandal that Jesus came for the unrighteous, he preached on it at length many times. But now he KNOWS by experience, that Jesus came to save the unrighteous.

Hallelujah! Don’t you love it when a preacher man experiences the truth he proclaims!? His preaching on this alone will have more life in it from now on. He will probably have a deeper and greater heart of compassion to others because of it.

Ted also said how thankful he was that Mike Jones did come forward and expose him. I sensed a sincerity when Ted said this. A person can only say it like this if they have really been blessed, healed, helped, and ‘saved’ through the experience. He is a better man for what he has gone through.

Something else I greatly appreciated about what Ted shared about his story was that he said it was a few weeks before the scandal broke that he had been in prayer and fasting, pouring himself out to God and struggling to be free of his sin and he prayed that God would do whatever it takes to rid him of this. Now, someone like Oprah who, from what I can gather, really doesn’t believe in a loving and caring God at all, says “So you wanted this to happen?” meaning the nation wide scandal. Of course not, I said to myself and Ted Haggard said something similar.

He did say he didn’t ask for a big scandal, but he did ask God to do whatever it takes and he sensed it would require an exposure, at least to family and friends, which would be hard enough. But in retrospect he is glad it was what it was because it really did set him free from the slavery of hiding in the lie. OK, those are all my words paraphrased from his and interpreting what I understood he meant, but he smiled like a free man.

Oprah did not seem to be very interested in this interview and seemed to cut him short several times. She did begin an argument a couple of times with Gayle, Ted’s wife because Oprah refused to accept what Gayle said she believed. I can’t remember what it was exactly. I was quite irritated with Oprah, but that’s not new or unique to this interview.

Oprah was quite off her line of questioning, I felt, when accusing Ted to have been in denial as the scandal broke. She did not have ears to hear properly. When they showed the news clips of Ted Haggard speaking into news cameras that he did not do what he is being accused of with the sexual allegations and the drugs, he was not in denial. He knew the truth. He was lying, not denying. Big difference.

Denial would be a refusal of belief in the truth. A lie is to cover up the truth. Ted came clean and said he was lying. This man was carrying the horror of the worst sins in his life and decades of slavery and torment to it and here it is breaking out all over the country, faster than he can blink and he hasn’t had time to get any bearings, catch his breath or truly comprehend what is happening to him and his wife and children, his church and his life. I’m not saying he should have been left to get his bearings. I think being toppled as he was was God’s great design for Ted Haggard and his family.

But with these circumstances I can see why he would lie. That is definitely not denial, in my book.

Denial of the truth is far worse than a lie, in my opinion. Denial is licence to sin. How can anyone be dealt with according to their sin if they don’t believe they have any? Fear and shame make us lie about our sins. Those lies may well prevent or hinder the help we need, but it wouldn’t take a very big rock to break the shield if we have already acknowledged the truth within ourselves and before God. How great the deception is and the walls of slavery we become incarcerated behind when we refuse to believe there are any walls at all.

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

What do you think?

 

Faith or Fairy Tales

Currently, the primary thing that stirs me spiritually is the need to maintain belief and faith in the transforming power of God. That we may, in fact overcome sin, self and the devil. Holding fast to and continuing in the faith to believe that He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world. That in Him, we too shall overcome. When He comes will He find faith in the earth? Will He find faith in us?

Four years ago I experienced a deliverance from sin that was truly the love of God and His miraculously transforming power within me, and within my life. My bondage to cigarette smoking was as solid as anyone else’s bondage to any other sin that has them so locked in there seems no hope, no means of escape, no matter how hard they try (and often because of how hard they try!).

Several weeks ago Ray Boltz came ‘out of the closet’ and confessed to the world that he was gay. Beyond that though, after several decades of marriage, 4 children and obviously a career of singing praise and worship to and about our God and the saving power and grace of Jesus Christ, he said he could no longer deny the way God made him. God made him gay and he was now giving himself over to embracing it, the papers and blogs reported.

But what he really gave himself over to was a lie. He attributed his sin to the work of God. He called what is unholy, as holy. He denied God and mocked Him. Struggling with the temptation was one thing, in fact, the very thing God desired to bring him to overcome. But having struggled with homosexuality most of his life, he became convinced it was who he really was and he was doing a disservice to God to deny it.

Having experienced the transforming power of God to deliver me of cigarettes and yet struggle with the faith that He will bring me to know overcoming in my other struggles, is baffling. I know I am not the only one.

There are temptations and sins we struggle with almost all of our lives and it becomes a part of our lives. So much a part of our lives we can think its normal, and even the way God wants it to be.

Leaning on the Lord, we have to look into the black abyss of the unknown, of doubt and fear, and trust that God has our back, our life and our death. We have to somehow believe in the unbelievable, trust the unknown, and go where few sons have gone before. This is how we grow as a son of God. If we don’t, how can we stand? We are double minded and building on sand. We have little faith and therefore will have very little, if any power, to love and help and save others, which is our calling and purpose, and our mission.

I often ask myself, “Did I come this far, to bail out now? Did I get through yesterday, just to give up today?”

The moment I was delivered of my smoking habit and addiction it was about 23 years coming and I didn’t even know I was delivered at that moment. All I knew was that God gave me what I needed to not buy a pack of cigarettes at that moment. I didn’t know how long it would last. It was a moment by moment discovery of what He had done. Today it is over 4 years and I have absolutely no struggle with it, not thoughts, temptations, memory, fear, nothing. It was an absolute deliverance as extreme to me as the bondage itself was. But it took many months, probably more than a year, before I could trust it was true and lasting and absolute.

I see now that this is also how we may discover His power and life in us to continue to overcome and rise up IN HIM, which means rising up IN FAITH and IN POWER and AS A SON. We may need to learn it by degrees. We may know the victory right away, but we will learn how absolute and true it is in time and through more testing.

I would love nothing more than to be excited about the time we’re in and the victory and glory that’s coming. But I’m still in a struggle of faith. I can’t fight and rejoice at the same time yet. I will. I am determined to lean on the Lord, for all that it will cost me (and I don’t say that lightly), that I may know that victory. Like the deliverance from the smoking. I could enjoy the momentary strength to walk away from giving in to the temptation again, but I couldn’t really rejoice in the deliverance until I had enough distance between me and what I was needing to overcome.

Spiritually I am at about 3 am in the morning. It’s still dark and deep in the night. But I do know the dawn is coming. A joy rises up with the dawn, with the light of day. I know mine is coming. It’s coming for many, but we are first needing to lean on the Lord in the dark of night, against the sense of hopelessness and desperation, against the sense of being forsaken and lost.

I pray for all of us to know the power of God is Love, a love that does not end, a love that is not superficial or conditional. His love is absolute and it absolutely saves. It is His love that holds us in the fire at times, rather than takes us out. We have to forsake and take captive the thoughts that tempt us to doubt and stand in unbelief. This is not a small thing. This faith is our inheritance. This faith is foundational to who we are and what we are called to be.

Our lives are not our own. They belong to Christ. He is faithful. He will not forsake himself, his Life or His body and bride. Against all odds, we MUST believe this.

We must believe in God and His love and His power to change us, our lives and others too. Otherwise we just believe bible stories as though they were fairy tales.